At times life can seem hard. We feel like we are all alone or must do things all by ourselves. Can you relate to any of these situations?
– You have had a rough day at work. When you come home you just want to relax. However, dinner still needs to be made. The kids still have homework and your partner is busy helping them.
– You asked your partner to put away the basket of laundry in the corner of the bedroom. You have been working extra hours this week and it seems like such a simple request. Three days later, the laundry basket is still in the corner.
– You recently lost someone close to you. Their death was unexpected and your emotions over the loss are hitting you harder than you ever expected. Everyone around you seems happy and you really don’t want to hear about the good things happening in their lives
In each of these situations, our nature is to pull away. We get mad at our partner for not putting away the laundry. The last thing on our mind is talking to them since we are mad. Or we are both busy with things going on around the house and it seems there is no time to come together. Our partner is helping the kids while we are busy making dinner. As we grieve our losses, we want to withdraw into our grief. But instead of trying to do things on our own, we
should lean in. Even while both you and your partner are busy taking care of the household chores, you can still lean in. Take a minute to rest your head on your partner’s shoulder. These few minutes of leaning in will be a reminder that you are in this thing together. It’s a small reminder that you are connected and don’t have to do things on your own.
We can lean in to our partner even though we are angry. Most likely, they were not trying to be malicious in not putting the laundry away. Maybe they don’t understand how important putting it away really is to us. They may have gotten busy taking care of other things and forgotten. Maybe the issue with getting it put away is related to a trigger from our past that they don’t have. Lean in any way. You are still partners even when things don’t go perfectly.
Instead of pulling away to face your grief alone, lean into your family and friends. Allow them to support you. Allow them to remind you that you are not alone. Allow them to remind you that everyone grieves differently. Your grief may never go away but it may get easier with time. Lean into those that want to be there for you. Lean into your emotions. When you react to a situation, take a few minutes to lean into that feeling. Take time to figure out why you are responding the way you are. Expecting a phone call from a friend that never comes and you get upset. Lean into your feelings and try to figure
out why it upset you so much.
Leaning in may not seem easy or come naturally. When we lean in, it makes us feel like we are vulnerable. We have to let our guard down and depend on someone else. We are also present in the moment when we lean in to others. When we lean in, we also have to trust ourselves. We have to know how we are feeling. We have to know that we need others and be open to letting them in. Lean in.